Daka Dom

Dark Tantra

the Sacred Path thru Dark Eros

Guidance, Counseling, Mentoring to Resolve Sexual Fears and Express Your True Erotic Desires

Light and Dark Eros
Dark Eros and Dark Tantra
Dark Tantra Sessions
Ritual Paths to Honor Both
Safe Confidential Compassionate Guidance
What does a session look like

In recent years sacred sexuality practices such as Tantra have been embraced as more people open to the deeper aspects of Eros in their lives. For many others there is also a darker aspect to Eros…a full range of fetishes, kink, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism and others.

Without a safe, open, supportive environment, these darker aspects can be bound up in fear, shame, and guilt...unexpressed, dishonored and unloved. And what’s hidden in shadow can often leak out in our real life in unsafe, unhealthy, destructive ways.

Is it possible for the sacred and profane, for both Light and Dark Eros to be embraced?

Light and Dark Eros can be woven together in a safe, sane, consensual expression between partners through ritual and other conscious practices.

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Dark Eros is the shadow aspect of our erotic personas that we generally keep secret…out of the Light. It can include things that are considered taboo, perverse, or morally inappropriate by the parent culture, family or friends. This would include kink, fetish, dominance or submission, sadism or masochism, crossdressing, bi-sexual, gay or other.

Dark Tantra employs, breath, movement, touch, experiential exploration, shadow work, archetypal mythos, ritual and discussion to create a safe, sacred container to explore Dark Eros. This practice encompasses any aspect of BDSM, Kink, Fetish or Dominance and submission. My recent article for Alternatives Magazine offers more detail about the nature of Dark Eros and Dark Tantra

I work with all persuasions of men and women who have had a lifelong or newly discovered desire for a particular sexual practice outside the conventional, but have kept it hidden. This may also include examining and resolving the emotional fears and judgments that have kept the truth of your Eros hidden from others.

Some of the issues and topics we can explore:
• Healing guilt, shame and harsh judgments around your sexuality
• Examining the shadows around sexual desire - secretive, deceptive, defensive behaviors
• How to negotiate honestly for what you want with your partners
• Creating deeper intimacy and trust in your relationships
• Taking Eros out of the head and into the body
• Releasing physical pain and “dis-ease” in the body
• Exploring what “normal” means
• Archetypal and mythic aspects of Dark Eros
• Creating a safe ritual path to explore Dark Eros
• The balance between privacy and openness
• Experiential exploration of any aspect of BDSM, Dominance and submission or Fetish

Dark Tantra Sessions

Our sessions together may include straightforward compassionate, nonjudgmental discussion and supportive guidance; Tantric techniques to deeply relax you and get you connected to your body; exploration of the fears and self-judgments that have held your Eros back; and specific, safe, negotiated explorations of what you desire. The processes used may include body work, conscious movement, shadow work, strategic planning to help you get to your goals, and specific "scenes", negotiated to explore aspects of D/s, BDSM, or Fetish. See full details about each aspect here.....(more)

Arrange an initial private discussion...FREE!

Call 503.442.5478

It is unfortunate that there are so few places in our culture where we can speak openly about our deepest sexual yearnings. I know how difficult it can be to take that first step. Getting honest about our hidden sexual truths can be a struggle, even in a supportive environment. It requires a high measure of trust. To help bridge that trust, I offer a FREE phone consultation where we can talk openly, you can ask questions and we can both get a sense if I am the right Guide for you to explore deeper into your sexuality and the issues that may be blocking its expression.

 
Erotic Healing
Dominance and Submission (D/s)- The Archetypal Mythos
Importance of Ritual

Blessing our Sexual Truth
I view this lifestyle in two distinct dimensions.The D/s aspect, the relationship side, and the BDSM aspect, the erotic/sexual side.
Emotional Reality

In many ways this path is about healing our sexual wounds and shadows. In most of our experience, our true sexual natures have been heavily repressed. The fear of being an outcaste, judged morally corrupt, spiritually evil...these are potent threats that can hold us back from exploring our true eros. The risks to being sexually authentic can be high. In the worst case they can mean loss of jobs, career, family, friends, community and social bonds, and the emotional trauma of fear, shame and abandonment that might bring with it.

These dynamics of fear and shame could also have been intensely magnified within the moral microcosm of the family as we grew up. Many of us were emotionally wounded (shamed or terrorized) around our sexuality, if not in fact sexually abused. We may have developed shyness or embarrassment, loss of trust, loss of confidence. We may have internalized the harsh voice of judgement from our father or mother, religion or culture, into our inner dialogue. And to one extent or another we may carry an innate fear of being discovered at the wong time or place...the feeling of being busted and the consequences that might bring.

To step into the truth of who you are sexually takes courage. Quite a lot in some cases. I honor that you are here reading this far, taking the risk to express what is tue for you. ...(more)

Difference between D/s and BDSM

Through ritual symbols, metaphor and mythic stories we effect the emotional, physical, erotic and spiritual aspects of our being. In ritual, as far as these aspects are concerned, we are experiencing reality. Movies, theatre, books, music and art evoke ritual reality. The body and emotions react, even though we are not experiencing "reality" (crying for instance).

Like movies, we can create and safely perform things in ritual space, not allowed in everyday reality.

Ritual is a path to call up partially or fully hidden parts of our self. In the ritual of D/s and BDSM, I believe we can access archetypal personas we already carry inside. These may be programmed in the DNA, or in metaphysical contexts such as the soul or spirit. The ritual process supports fully embodying the archetype, while holding conflicting parts offline during the ritual. In the erotic BDSM context, the archetype may be the slut, the predator, sacred whore, rapist, supreme bitch, biker, master/slave et al. ....(more)

Submit Your Secrets
Have a secret sexual desire you've never felt you could share? We all have carried sexual secrets inside, for fear of the painful consequences discovery could create in our everyday lives. Submit your Secrets is a message board intended to be a safe and sacred chamber where anyone can utter their darkest sexual desires, their most secret truth, maybe for the first time. You may also post questions for the list in general, or if you feel the wisdom or compassion, respond to the posts of others. I will be posting articles, client experiences and respond as I can to those who post. ..(more)

 

 

The D/s aspect involves the consciously polarized day to day or moment to moment interaction between the Dominant and the submissive in relationship together..

It's essence is noble and mythic/romantic. The Dominant can express the King or Queen archetype - giver of blessings, bearer of joy, the wise sage elder, set the vision, guide and teach, keep order, set clear agreements and boundaries etc.

The submissive can fully embrace devotion, service, surrender, attentiveness, nurturing energy et al. It is usually part of an ongoing relationship, but aspects do come into play in a scene or session.
Dark Eros and BDSM - safely releasing shadow thru ritual 

The BDSM side, the erotic/sexual side, is dark energy, the taboo, the things that should never be done, things that hurt, that are cruel, savage wildness.

It can also be tender and sensual, if that is the preference, or the two styles can be mixed. The sensual and the D/s side, is where many people like to keep their energy. But there are those who are drawn to stretch it out to the dark edges.

In ritual the "dark" side or shadow energy can be explored, expressed and honored. These shadows can be archetypal sub-personas that show up in our dark desires. They come in pairs and counterparts such as predator/prey, rapist/victim, Daddy/daughter, stud/slut, abuser/abused or any combo you can imagine. They can be drawn to inflicting or receiving physical or emotional pain, degradation, objectification or humiliation. These can be risky energies to unleash. And these can be risky energies to not unleash in a safe way, versus revealing them in the "real world" in shadowy, unhealthy, non-consensual ways. I work with clients to develop a level of trust and create a ritual path where these dark energies can be safely revealed, explored, and expressed.