The Sacred Mythos of Dominance and submission

In the metaphorical container that holds a D/s relationship, there can be rich and meaningful protocols, ceremonies and rituals that connect to your and your submissive’s deepest yearnings, help resolve your deepest fears, and begin healing old wounds. You have the power to create personally meaningful rituals that tangibly feel sacred and soulful. Rituals can be fashioned that are healing, honoring and empowering to both the Dom and sub. Rituals can also be powerful ways to explore and examine parts of us that have been disowned, unresolved, feared, wounded, or significant insights might be revealed from our unconscious, that were previously flying under the radar.

Embracing a D/s container as a practice for a relationship to develop in, is immersing the relationship in a romantic, erotic mythos that exists beyond the relationship. The myth of the noble, regal, powerful, benevolent Lord or Lady (King/Queen/Master/Mistress archetype) and the devoted Lover (Devotee/Loyal Servant/Slave archetype).is an elegant yarn to weave a relationship with.

There is no adequate expression for me as a Dominant for the feeling of being treated with total adoration, humility and respect by my slave or sub. Both in the way it feels physically, emotionally and psychically, to be held so highly, as well as in my ability to break past my own internal resistance (my shadows and wounds) to receive it.

There is a deep, personal, soulful, physical, emotional, alive connection to this feeling for me. As well as a connection I feel to the collective mythos where these archetypal personas of King/Queen and devotee/one-in-service, and all variations, exist metaphysically. These mythic stories and personas have been known and used in ritual, and as a mainstay of cultural literature, for thousands of years. Their universal, collective nature as an aspect of all human experience has been well noted by Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell and many others. The multitude of archetypes and mythology in these stories from cultures all over the world, are part of the human software already embedded in our unconscious. We may not pay attention consciously, but we do respond and resonate to these myths in ancient or contemporary form, as we do to symbols of all sorts.

Each small ritual act you perform, to high-protocol, ritual ceremonies you create with your partner, can be rich in meaning to both, and keep your connection rooted at the level of a physical, romantic, emotional, mental, spiritual, embodiment of Dominant and submissive.

Imagine a protocol that requires your submissive to kneel upon entering your space, naked, collared, no eye contact, crawling to kneel before you, head bowed at your feet, ass up, in silence, until given permission to speak.

Consider all that may be going on consciously and unconsciously from this simple yet highly symbolic scenario between Dominant and submissive.

The imposed but voluntary adherence to protocol by the submissive is rich in mythos. As Dominant and submissive, we are immersed in a number of archetypal pairings or counterparts, dancing together on a number of levels.

Embodying and expressing these mythic pairings can strike deep chords that seem to be right from the core of my soul. I feel beheld in a mythos beyond my personal mythos. A familiar feeling, like I know about this, but not from personal experience. It feels sacred. It is physically, emotionally, spiritually, authentic, real, and tangible. It is rich in symbolic nuance. Meaningful and intentional symbols can activate strong emotional connections within both partners.

First there is the symbolism of the submissive crossing the threshold of her Dominant’s realm (container). The threshold is an important place. It divides the container into what is outside and what is inside. It is a place of choice. A place to pause and connect deeply with one’s intention in crossing the threshold. A place to be in gratitude for what is within. Here the submissive can do a small ritual meditation…to pause, breathe, get grounded in intention, left go of unnecessary, distracting thought, before entering and kneeling.

Witnessing my sub’s impeccable obedience and devotion resonates a deep sense of trust within me. This symbolizes and consequently generates the emotions accordant with being honored through the keeping of agreements, even challenging ones, with grace and style. There is no resistance. Only devotion, and the desire to please, are evident in the truth of my sub’s body, crawling to kneel and bow before me. I feel physically and emotionally disarmed, tender, even awed. I feel the tremendous trust my sub displays so vulnerably, and a sense of the sacred responsibility that trust implies.

There is the relief, ease, and satisfaction of knowing my sub is surrendered and will not require correction or discipline, won’t act out in a way that disrupts the intoxicating flow and romantic beauty of complete power exchange.

As well, the way the body moves in its crawl, evokes an animal nature, both the grace of movement and the physical vulnerability stirs my own animal nature. Some primitive, predatory Eros is in play in my body and soul.

Seeing the shape and pose of the body at my feet, is a powerful visual symbol of surrender. It is a classical embodiment of devotion evident in human nature and protocol in temples, churches, monasteries and castles of the realm for many ages past.

The ass, arched in sexual submission, offering, and invitation is another potent image. To be treated so reverently, to have my sub totally available for use, nurtures my sense of power and control.

The submissive is fully exposed and vulnerable at all levels, at my whim, pleasure and mercy. I feel appeased.

The humble pose on the floor represents one in devotion, service and Eros. This resonates with the counterparts in me. I take in the truth that I am worthy of devotion, that I am the one above, elevated, the one being served. The feeling for me, is one of humility and grace, not inflation. My body, emotions and soul feel imbued with the birthright of my Dominance.

Many Dominants, myself included, carry unresolved parts of them that may be blocking them from fully claiming and owning their rightful place. Ritual practices I use, help me to get closer to allowing these powerful emotional and physical feelings to flow into my body and awareness without restraint. This is being, present, authentic and alive in the truth of the moment. Making it a practice to breathe, open and receive this offering from your submissive can lead to deep healing and full sense of empowerment. It may also be important for both partners to do more personal inner-work. This means looking at any unconscious, subtle resistances to fully embracing their Dominant and submissive natures.

The submissive, when bowed in surrender at my feet, also embodies the physical energetic of prey. In the animal world there is a natural point of surrender between predator and prey. A transition where fighting for survival/control by the prey, transforms to a physical embodiment of surrender.

The Dominant and submissive are reenacting nature’s ritual of predator/prey or alpha/beta mammalian pack rituals. Resistance and the fight have ceased, and the “prey” instinctually exposes vulnerable parts of the body. The eyes are cast down. Any physical movements are meek and stripped of all expressions of aggression or challenge. The Dom’s body language will also hold this same instinctual attitude. How deeply either hold this instinctual posture depends on how deeply they have freed all the restraints in the physical and emotional body that hold back natural authentic expression of what they feel.

These instinctual postures are part of our biological, psychological heritage from reptilian forward. The body and these ancient aspects of us stored in the unconscious, responds to the vibration and instinctual memory of this part of the psyche. Just like any other predator and prey would in nature. It is not thought about. It is instinctual.

My experience is that of feeling these aspects of my evolutionary heritage alive in me. My animal nature. The symbol of my submissive posed before me rouses this instinct, It feels powerful and sacred to own, be aware of and embody these aspects of my psyche. The wild, untamed, primitive, instinctual nature still resides in me. No matter how civilized we might consider ourselves to be, these instinctual responses in our bodies and unconscious, are very much intact and operate in us daily.

The submissive also represents an object. As Dominant, I have the absolute power to make my submissive a sacred or profane object. This absolute power can manifest as the Good King or the Merciless Tyrant.

As a sacred object, I am moved treat my sub with a certain reverent tenderness. My desire is to bless and protect, while also being served royally. This is not just some abstract concept in my head. I am connecting emotionally and physically with these energies and personas.

One tangible embodiment that I have experienced is the archetypal persona of “Daddy”. It is strongest in me, if the counterpart is also alive in my submissive. In this mythos the Daddy’s little girl totally loves and adores him. She knows she needs to be obedient and is eager for Daddy’s love and affection. She gives affection freely and generously. My “Daddy” persona feels drawn from my soul, in a ritual moment like this. I may not shift the core of my energy or embodiment there, which would be quite possible to do, but a significant portion of my embodied content may be channeling the Daddy archetype. To connect with this part of me is emotionally powerful and enriching. The feeling of tenderness and love is intense. Who could Daddy love more than his little girl. especially when she is being so devoted, adoring, vulnerable and pleasing.

The point is, the feelings and experience are authentic in this moment, in this ritual, even if this is not true in the reality of everyday life. Nor am I condoning in any way, real life interactions between parents and children. Accessing the Daddy archetype can be a gateway for me to connect with my true tenderness and love that I may have been holding back or disconnected from in some way.

Connecting with these archetypal parts of us in ritual, is a sacred act that can transform and alter ways we may be holding back our deepest feelings for each other. It can help open up emotional blockages and allow deeper levels of emotional intimacy and free expression.

As a profane object my submissive becomes the symbolic counterpart of my darkest urges. In the realm of Dark Eros these urges are linked to sinister, mythic stories alive in my unconscious that can be called up. The lead characters are paired in polarized relationship. Generally speaking, these can be predator/prey, daddy or mommy/ daughter or son, teacher/student, rapist victim, Shadow Master/Mistress/shadow slave or many other dyads.

I consider shadows to be parts of me that are not consistent with my values and my conduct in the Outer Chamber of the day-to-day relationship. If I show up in the Outer Chamber in my “Tyrant” (shadow of the King/Queen), then I am being out of integrity to my code of conduct. I am not being present or just. I am no longer objectively listening. I am misinterpreting data, and weaving it to fit my “story” inside. I am projecting unconsciously some past experience that wounded me, onto my submissive, in the present situation.

But the Inner Container is a place I can ritually own and embody my tyrant, sadist and other dark forces, in a way designed for safety, with agreement, awareness of emotional safety, and highly charged Eros.

In the Inner Chamber of Dark Eros my submissive is totally objectified, stripped of rights and entitlements, a target of pain, degradation, brutality, and cruelty. I can unleash my own shadowy dark desires as superior, all powerful, ruthless`, disdainful, disrespectful, asshole, mother fuckin’ tyrant and any other energies that I carry in me.

This is an astoundingly liberating experience to allow these dark aspects of my soul to be witnessed and expressed. To shine the light on them, to no longer hold them back, after having hidden them so long in my life. The fact that my sub is able to hold space for these shadow parts of me, and even beg for them to be unleashed, leaves a feeling of liberation and joy. And even in the midst of some cruel rampage upon my sub’s body and persona she is entwined with me in the Light. I am at moments so aware of the tenderness and awe I feel, to be so loved and honored and encouraged to show all of me.

There is also an important note to make clear. Except for the mildest forms, humiliation and degradation is what I consider edge-play. It requires a lot of self-evaluation, communication, trust, and deep connection between the Dominant and submissive. There are real emotional traumas many of us carry around self-worth and image. Intentional humiliation and degradation is not a place to rush into or take lightly. I will speak more in depth about this in another piece. If you do find areas of consent that feel safe to explore these edgier places, these scenes can carry an intense emotional, physical, sexual catharsis.

Another level of symbol and imagery in the scenario I described, connects to the carnivorous animal heritage in our body and psyche. Letting your wild, savage, beast hunt, take down, bite into the back of the neck, or overpower activates survival level, eat or be eaten instincts, emotions and body language. These are a predator’s natural responses to hunger, and the need to dominate it’s hunting grounds to survive.

To feel these alive in your body and psyche is awakening deep connections and awareness of how complex and layered our experience can be. And how primitive, “uncivilized” and predatory responses within, can be consciously exercised/exorcized in the ritual container of Dark Eros. This can also bring greater awareness of how we let these shadowy energies loose in the world, in many unconscious ways. This can lead to “cleaner” communication and interaction in our relationships in the Outer Container, and in the rest of our lives.

I will describe more about use of ritual and symbolic tools to examine the shadows of the Dominant and submissive in the relationship oriented Outer Chamber, and look talk further about Dark Eros and the shadows and wounds that may be inhibit its full expression, in a future offering.