Update: The PEM Survey has been moved to my new professional site – Galen Fous MTP – Fetish Sex Expert, Psychotherapist, Fetish Sex Researcher…to take the survey go here… PEM Survey link
Improve your Sex Life and Your Relationships – Discover Your PEM (Personal Erotic Myth)!
A PEM contains the fantasy imagery, story-lines, mythic personas and actions, that drives a person that has a PEM to orgasm, or other deep erotic states. It is often expressed in fetish, kink and D/s-BDSM oriented sex. Some people are quite aware of their PEM, and may have caught glimpses of it, or more , well before puberty…even if they have yet to share it with another. Some may have already crossed the threshold of secrecy their desire may have been held in, to engage the desire itself. Some will have multiple PEM’s that ebb and flow in their sex life. For many others, it is still an unconscious but compelling force, just below acknowleged awareness, that drives their sexual desire. It is the aspect of their Eros that they have not looked at, or engaged in consciously. But during sex, in the moments right before orgasm, it can flood into the body in wild, fierce gestures, accompanied by profane, blasphemous invectives (sound-bytes from the PEM) . If you are curious, and ready to discover more about your PEM take the Personal Erotic Myth Research Survey below.
(Survey starts below, if you wish to skip context )
One of the aspects of my final year in grad school, is to do supervised research project, in the form of a survey, around my theory of the PEM – or Personal Erotic Myth. This research project will contribute to my final thesis on the mythic, archetypal nature of Fetish based sexuality. The survey below, and it’s intent has been approved by my graduate advisor and is monitored as well, by my local supervisor – a Portland based PHD psychologist.
The evidence of a PEM, for those to whom it is mostly unconscious, is only revealed in the last minute or so before they orgasm.
In these last moments, despite all the ways they may have unconsciously employed to hide, mask, diminish or ignore their true erotic nature, their deepest erotic truth finally floods and overwhelms all restraint in the body and psyche to express itself. This can often sound like a Turette’s syndrome attack…a burst of invectives and blasphemies of all sorts and a primal wildness is embodied in the last heaving moments before release.
“Oh god…harder…harder…please take me” …or “take it bitch” or numerous other litanies, may be all of the PEM that is revealed.
I believe this is just a “sound byte” from one’s PEM. The PEM is like a zip file, stored in the unconscious. It contains hours of content, that includes all the elements of a mythic erotic story…archetypal personas, counterpart personas, setting, history, attire, dialogue, body language, props, et al. Some of these myths may stretch deep down the into the instinctual layers of our psychological structures that stem from the mammalian(alpha/beta pecking order – dominance and submission) and reptilian(predator/prey – sadist/masochist) phases of our biological and psychological heritage. These wilder, primitive aspects of human biology/psychology often show up in the myths, personas and physical expressions related to Fetish, Kink, and D/s-BDSM sexual expression.
I believe this research area is relevant in regards to updating the outdated dating protocols still operating in the culture at large. People are partnering and marrying without ever having discussed, let alone know what each others sexual desires look like, or how frequently or what kinds of sexual expression is central to their erotic nature. This leads to devastating erotic mismatches, which may lead to all sorts of shadowy, hidden, dangerous or deceptive behaviors eventually going on behind partners’ backs, or shows up in other harmful ways that disrupt if not destroy the relationship.
People knowing their PEM and tools of how to communicate that honorably with a potential partner may be more apt to have a stronger bond in their overall relationship than not, as well as a fulfilled and well-expressed sexuality.
I believe that upwards of 25% of the population has an inherent fetish-driven sexual nature, held within a PEM(s), just as around 10% of the gene pool is gay or lesbian in their sexual orientation. I speculate that it may be a MUCH higher percentage, and I am attempting to explore this theory further.
Completing the Survey may help you shed more light on your own desires, and be able to better consider how to engage them consciously in your life and your relationships. Please allow about 15 minutes to complete
After completing the survey you may opt-in to see the results as the data gets compiled. You are welcome to share a link to this page within your own networks. I would be grateful if you did! If you are a blogger or write for other media, you are welcome to quote this article, or contact me for an interview.